What Loss Can Teach You
Loss sucks. There’s no doubt about that! When you can’t control something, you can control how you react to it and that is how I’m looking at loss.
Can I change that my mom died? No.
Can I magically make my dad better? No, he’s terminally ill with a disease that has no cure.
Can we get back all the things we lost in the past 9 months of this pandemic? Probably not.
Will life ever return to “normal” as we knew it before? Again, probably not.
Since we can’t change any of these things, let’s focus on how we look at them. Shift the perspective to salvage at least a bit of our mental health/sanity.
I don’t mean to trivialize how any one is feeling right now. Feeling shitty is normal.
Feeling shitty is ok.
But, you need to find a way out of that shittiness before it becomes all-consuming.
Here are some lessons that loss, of all kinds, have taught me. Let me know in the comments what loss has taught YOU!
If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s to appreciate what we have. This is so clichéed but it’s actually true. When you lose things that are important to you, it puts what remains in to perspective.
Life is short.. Yet another clichée that we’ve all heard before. It’s a fact, though. Life is short. But, life is also what we make of it. Accept that we will not live forever. Some may live shorter lives than others. So fill your days, however numbered they may be, with things that fill your cup. Fill them with things that make you happy, things you are passionate about, and people that you love. Don’t forget to fill them with things that will improve that time too - healthy food, good habits, movement, and more.
It brings people closer together. You know that club that no one wants to be a part of? The dead parents club? Or any other related club? It’s a thing.. whether you want it to be or not, when you meet another person who has also lost a parent there’s a base layer of understanding that connects you instantly. It’s not just death - caring for a parent? Same thing. Divorced? Same thing. Lost a dog? Same thing. While these are all varying degrees of loss, it doesn’t mean that one is more important or valid than the other. They are just different kinds of losses.
Loss teaches you that it’s ok to not be ok. Everyone experiences sadness or depression to a varying degree throughout their lives. A loss can kick that into high gear and you may feel like you don’t know how to handle it. I’m here to remind you that you can handle whatever life throws at you but if it’s reeeally hard at first. That’s ok. Normal, in fact. And if you need help, I’m happy to chat 😊
Happy 64th birthday to my mom (in heaven? 6 feet underground? In the universe? - still don’t know what I believe and don’t really care!!!)
And happy 8 years since my dad got sick.
And happy Thursday!
And happy 3rd day of the last month of this crazy AF year.